Location Bandido HQ – 8412 Wheatgrass Circle, Parker CO

More Info Since Pikes Peak was cancelled and we need to crown the Winter Supernational Champion, get ready for the final Bandido CX of the season.

Newbies, MTB, and anyone welcome.

Winners will have an exclusive photo in the MEX National jerseys while holding the Denver Spoke Golden water bottle cage trophy.

Beer, BBQ and bragging/heckling to follow the race.

Like, “How can a group of hundreds of sweaty guys that shave their legs and wear skin-tight technicolor spandex NOT seem gay?” Don’t even get me started on embrocation or chamois cream. “It rubs the lotion on its skin.”

Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, gifts for that hard to shop for cycling do-it-yourselfer on your list. The first thing you need to know is that there are different levels of licensed bicycle mechanics ranging from 1 to 4. Like Google’s search engine, no one is quite sure how it works, but it appears that the mechanic’s “level” seems to be inversely proportional to the number of parts that fall off their own bike during a race. The cobbler’s children have no shoes.

So here are a few holiday gift ideas categorized on mechanic’s classifications.

Repair Stand

Level #4 – We’ve all been there.

Level #3 – Extra points for effort.

Level #2 – Pretty much the ‘Cadillac’ of repair stands.

Level #1 – This particular model has been unavailable for some time, but according to People Magazine and Entertainment Tonight, will be back on the market shortly. Get your orders in soon.

Headset Press

This is one of the more delicate bicycle maintenance activities and should be handled with the most appropriate equipment.

Level #4 – We’ve been there too. The ultimate emergency trailside repair tool. The rock.

Level #3 – For those who have graduated up a level and possess the dexterity of a surgeon.

Level #2 – Don’t laugh. Works great.

Level #1 – “Cadillac” model of headset press. Those of you who have both the Cadillac model headset press AND repair stand, you suck.

Honorable Mention – Not quite pressing it the right way to install a new headset, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her or say much else either.

Bike Washing

Level #4 – Get serious. We don’t wash our bikes at this level unless we accidentally plunge head-first into a stream or a lake.

Level #3 – Good ol’ elbow grease.

Level #2 – Portable Powerwasher – 12v or battery powered (Yeah, you’ve got one of these too. Gee whiz.)

Level #1 – Probably should take the bottle out of the cage to really get it clean. However, Dash Riprock would not allow this as only he can wash his bike correctly.

So, there you have it. Hopefully your favorite cyclist will have one or all of these underneath the tree this holiday season!

Well the mud has dried, the clothing is clean again and everyone is back to thier “day” jobs after a very exciting CX Nats up in Bend.  But did anybody really show up except the CO contingent?

Starting with some goofey time trials and some non-championship races on Thursday (which CO also took 1-2 in) and rolling through Sunday afternoon, it appears that the nice weather that never left CO during cross season did not hamper the fast kids when they hit the pacific NW and thier mud/rain/snow mix.  With a total of 26 medals and 13 National Championship Jerseys (thanks for the update 303cycling) coming back to the state, I can confirm, from multiple sources, that we kicked thier ASS all over the course.  Alas, the FMVC team watched from thier computer screens while drinking a St Feuillien Cuvee De Noel and getting the off season started on the right foot.

Now this is also coming from a state that has no USA Cycling affliation except they work in COS.  We have our own race series, only 4 races in a 26 race calendar that are put on for the Elite level athlete only when the NACT (god rest its soul) and the USGP (laughing all the way to the bank next year) show up with it’s travelling circus. 

It was great to read all the twitter updates, posts of live commentary on CXMagazine, the live video from both Elite races via CyclingDirt and the thrill that everyone had announcing winners and race updates from the front line.

The season is still going on though.  With 4 more races yet to be run, 2 of them with CO Cross Cup points, who is going to show up and who has started hitting the bottle?  I hope to see lot’s of racers up in Lyons this weekend though.

So yesterday was the first day of Cross Nats in Bend.  They have some “warm up” races called the “B races of Nats” and check out who won yesterday

Men – Open – Non-championship – 40-99
Place Points Name City, State Time

1 150 Michael Robson Boulder, CO 0:42:31

2 135 Darron Cheek Breckenridge, CO 43:40

Now we know these guys race in the 35+/45+ field week in and week out. 
Michael has won 7 races this year in 35+ and was 3rd in 35+ on Saturday.
Darron has been racing 45+ all year and has a win and is 6th in CO Cup Points.
 
Looks to be shaping up to be a great weekend for CO Cross once again.

We have a few (2 XL Long Sleeve, 3 XL Short Sleeve) Official FMVC wool jerseys left.

There are several guys out there on other Colorado based teams that secretly covet the FMVC and have them. Now, for the low, low price of $90, it is your chance to be one of the PHAT bastards that sport the FMVC.

Just email tiggerinchains@hotmail.com if you are interested. Once they are gone…. they will never come back.

Examples of each, modeled by yours truly below.

The short sleeve is specially cut to make the arms look

The Long Sleeve is almost (but not quite)

Nice Zipper, Eh?

Top View – Looking down at the inside of my elbow.

Side View – It’s pretty safe to say…. this thing is screwed down and going nowhere.

In an not quite sure if there is enough titanium to set off the detectors at that airport. I am thinking not. However, I that is not the case, I will have to get used to the new “aggressive pat down” procedures.

I started PT this evening with the first session….. We are thinking that I can be back on the bike in less than two months. But first, I got considerable amont of work to get back all the movement in my right elbow that I lost. Bring on the pain.

“There were several guys on my team that didn’t have bank accounts,” they didn’t have anything — no laptop, no credit cards. They literally cashed their paychecks at the bank and paid for everything with cash. Whenever they needed to buy something online, they’d ask to use your credit card and pay you back in cash. As far as I can tell (with the evidence USADA presented), we were at a race, and someone used my computer, had access to my email, and bought dope with it. I was none the wiser.”

Ok Chuck, are you effing kidding me?  My wife doesn’t even have all my credit card numbers or the password for my email address. 

Then there is this great one

“I don’t have $20,000 to fight it, and these (former teammates) have ghosted, just disappeared. I can’t find them. USADA was threatening me with a four-year or lifetime ban, and in the end I had no choice but to sign their document and accept a two-year suspension.”  Coyle believes he knows who ordered doping products using his computer, but was said he was “explicitly told” not to name them for fear that he would be slapped with a defamation lawsuit”.

Hey Chuck, I was able to find all of your teammates that were on the 2007 Team Successful Living Presented by Parkpre USA by just using Google.  See the internet has this cool search function that can find almost anything about anybody and it is FREE!!!  You could even take your laptop over to Vics and they will also let you connect and search it too.

International teammates: 

Alessandro Bazzana (ITA) – For the 2010 season he was racing for Fly V Australia, which is the new Pegusus Racing team.  I going to guess that he has a bank account since they have to deposit his money into it each month.  His USA Cycling number is/was 257488.

Dusan Ganic (SER) – It appears that he got busted over a year ago in Italy for being part of a huge doping ring with Aleksandar Nikacevic another cyclist that briefly rode for Mapei and Alessio.

Ricardo Escuela (ARG) – This guy raced in 2009 for Team Type 1 racing here in the US.  It appears that he currently races back in Argentina for a team called Los Mineros (The Miners)  he just finished up some races there according to this website (it will need to be translated since it is in spanish).  His USA Cycling number is/was 257489.

Christian Valenzuela (MEX) – I could not really find anything for this guy.  This link says that he might be living back in Mexico and not racing at all.  Guess his EPO ran out and he was not really that good huh?

Now for his US teammates:

R Curtis Gunn – As of March 15, 2010 Curtis was racing and living in Tucson AZ and racing for the Williams Wheels p/b SC Velo.  According to this blog post he was going to race San Dimas stage race in CA.  USA Cycling license number is 51219

Alexi Martinez – Dude races for Adageo Energy Cycling team.  He is currently 23 years old.  He might have been doping since he was 20.  Come on man, dont you know that your dick shrinks when you take EPO and other dope and chicks dont dig small dicks from dudes?   USA Cycling license number is 190569

Daniel Ramsey – in 2009, he raced for Mountain Khaki’s EP-NO…EPO YES is what I got to say.  As of these results, he is also racing with Curtis Gunn on the Willimas Wheels team.  USA Cycling license number is 29107

Ryan Yee – According to USAC, he has not raced since 2007 with Successful Living.  But according to this link, he was the damn team manager for Successful Living.  Now we all know that this guy had to have a computer, the link has an email address for him and he should have a credit card.  USA Cycling license number is 98357

I am sure that you dont give a shit about my blog and writings.  But come on man…..you have got to be smarter than this.  You are worried about guys that have no laptops (which means they have no internet connection and might not have heard about this), they have no credit cards (so they really dont have a way to take you to court for defemation) and you just lay down and take what USADA gave to you.  I would give them names, places, locations and kept racing, just like your “friends or teammates” that just threw you under the bus, a really big bus.
 
Now I dont really give a shit about your friends in the bubble that support you. Frankly, I am amazed that there has been so much silence coming from the Bubble. Maybe the Bubble has an embargo talking about this?  Maybe there are more names that are going to come out and they dont want to say anything.

Maybe you could have taken the money that you got back from selling your portion of the Hudz Team and the profits that you have from The Pros Stuff and find a good lawyer that can help you out. I know that it can done for way less than $20,000 USD.
 
For all the work that I have done for you Chuck to start your case, which took me about an hour or so, I will only charge you $100.00 USD.  I just need to have enough money to register the team that I race on with the  ACA since the only thing this team is on is Belgium Beers and frites.  They make you fat, not fast but we have a smile on our face at the end of the day and none of us have the moniker of  “Convicted Doper”

They should be tarred and feathered in public and made to say “I’m Sorry” to each person that they have raced against in thier category.  This will bring even more public shame to them and maybe other’s will think twice about putting a needle in thier ass for perspective of winning an ACA race, a OBRA race or a USAC race.

Here is the issue that has everyone fired up today:  VN rights an article about Chuck Coyle being suspended for a analytical positive (lawyer speak for something) of EPO and IGF.  They come to Chuck and say the following:

USADA:  Hey Chuck, we have your credit card and shipping info from a purchase of EPO and IGF that you made way back in 2007.  Yea we know that is is 2010 but the wheels of justice work slow down in the Springs.  What do you have to say for yourself?

Chuck:  What you talkin about Willis?  I didn’t do anything like that

USADA:  USADA guy show’s Chuck the information that they got (presumably through the Joe Papp investigation) with his info on it, quantities, dates and treatment options.

Chuck:  Shit!!  Ok, I bought the stuff but never used the stuff.  I have never failed a drug test that I have taken from you guys or anyone else.

USADA:  Chuck, here is what we can do for you.  You cop to this and we give you a 2 yr suspension and you can come back to race again when your 40, ok?

Chuck:  I just read on VN that some dude in MI got 2 years also.  Guess that is going rate right?  He did not test positive either but he was also shipped the same stuff as me.  Ok, you got yourself a deal.

USADA:  Dumbass masters racers.

So, moral of the story is this….DONT USE DRUGS unless they are prescribed from your physician and you have a TUE card handy.